Random thoughts and incessant ramblings

21 year old university student who needs an outlet to vent. This is where I do it. Feel free to follow and talk to me :)

I think the guy I’m seeing knows my blog and checks it. Whenever I post something vaguely sad he messages me with “hey hun how’s it going” and then proceeds to make random conversation and jokes, in a different way than usual, as if he’s purposely trying to cheer me up. It could just be a coincidence and I’m just being paranoid. I really hope he doesn’t know it cause it’s my personal space and I don’t like anyone seeing it unless I’ve let them.

Ok wait. I just found out that this guy at work who has Asperger’s has 4 exes. He’s the same age as me. He has been in 4 relationships. I have been in none. He is constantly talking about how he’s so socially awkward and can’t really talk to people. But he’s been in 4 relationships that were all of decent length. I am not socially awkward but I have not been in a single one.

My old suitemate from college never left her room except to get food or go to class. She had no friends in college yet she managed to have 2 relationships during her time there, one of which is still going on.

My old roommate also was very quiet and didn’t have any friends or talk to anyone or go to any social events. She was in a 4 year relationship.

There has got to be something wrong with me. There just has to be. What is it? This is not fair.

And now I’m crying, great ugh.

why. just why. i hate when people do this. it makes me very uncomfortable. idk how to respond. he’s gonna expect a response. ugh.
Omfg this is the trans guy that likes me at work. I mean, this is really sweet and nice of him and I appreciate it, but it makes me uncomfortable cause I don’t return the feeling. So I just feel weird whenever he compliments me cause idk if he’s saying it as a friend or something more. It’s been weird at work since I know how he feels too. Fuuuuuck

that friend i made at work (who follows me on my tumblr so i can’t post on the main one) saw my posts and texted me that he’s gonna draw me a card and get me a present for my birthday, and when i said thanks you don’t have to do that, he said “i’m doing it because i actually care”

it made me tear up. idek how to respond. 

do you ever start a conversation because you’re bored and/or lonely and then you regret it cause the person won’t stop and you just want to curl up and be by yourself